


Careening down the Bunny Trail

by MaatMons



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Best-Laid Plans, Bunny Jane, Easter Bunnies, bunny john, … of Bunnies and Men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 12:31:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5666155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaatMons/pseuds/MaatMons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is John Egbert, and you are an Easter bunny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Careening down the Bunny Trail

Your name is John Egbert, and you are an Easter bunny. You hail from a proud line of Easter bunnies that traces all the way back to Sassacre, the first Easter bunny. You like to think back to that first Easter, two-thousand years ago, when your however-many-times-great grandpa emerged from his burrow to find some guy nailed to a couple peaces of wood. 

He saw the blood dripping down and had a flash of inspiration. He pilfered some eggs from a nearby hen house and painted fanciful designs on them with the blood. Then he hid the eggs where he knew they'd be found by confused and terrified human children. That guy was such a card! 

Thus began a tradition that continues to this day. Of course, you can't expect to find a handy pool of blood every year, so he had to switch to red dye. Later generations of Easter bunnies started using other colors of dye too. Personally, you think these modern eggs are much more festive than those original blood eggs. 

Today, you get your first chance to distribute Easter eggs. You're very excited! You've been teamed up with your twin sister Jane Crocker. Yes, your twin has a different last name than you do. Bunny naming conventions are very complex. This will be Jane's first year too, obviously. She's the same age as you, after all. 

The two of you are being trusted to handle this run all by yourselves, with no older bunnies accompanying you. It's a lot of pressure, but you're determined to come through. You'll make your dad proud. I mean, he's always proud of you. He says it, like, ten times a day. But you'll make him extra super proud! 

Right now though, you're feeling a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of eggs you've been assigned. There have to be a hundred baskets here! 

As if reading your mind, Jane says, "This is going to take forever!" 

There has to be a way out of all this work. Okay Egbert, use your noggin. Work smarter, not harder. 

"What if …" You begin. "What if we put all our eggs in _one_ basket?" It's a crazy idea, but it just might work. 

Jane squeaks in excitement. "Yeah, then we can wrap this up in no time!" 

Minutes in the future, but not many …

You lay sprawled out at the bottom of the hill. There's egg on your face. There's egg everywhere. You're lying in a pool formed from you-don't-know-how-many eggs. Pieces of eggshell litter the grass like gaily-colored shrapnel. You know Jane is around here somewhere too. She was right beside you when your load tottered, then tumbled. You don't look around for her though. You can't bring yourself to do anything but stare up at the indifferent (but still very pretty!) sky. 

You just don't understand it. How did everything go so wrong?


End file.
